Would you like to know your big why? Give me your chart and come with an open heart. Chiron is an asteroid in your birth chart, each of us has Chiron as a guide. When you tap into the Chironic energies in essence you are dancing with the wound that causes most of the problems in your life.
Those drama/traumas that get you when you least expect it. If reading this you hear yourself say “well the past is the past”, well then think again. The places we hurt make us more human. It’s the place of your big “WHY”. As healers we are expected to understand, even transmute the pain; your “blessed wound” is what makes you a healer in the first place. In your birth chart Chiron’s placement and journey through the chart gives you understanding of what is out of balance and how to go about fixing it.
Chiron the Gatekeeper for Walking the Bridge
It takes 49/50 years for Chiron to travel around your birth chart-in astrology it’s called a Chiron Return. Each time Chiron enters a sign he brings the deeper message of your “blessed wound”. Chiron is a bridge builder…he builds a bridge from the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn) to the trans-personal planets (Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto).
“[This story is] for the children within us who knew there were nature spirits, shining ones and more and the children whose lives we touch. May we open our hearts to the compassion and love of the Spirit world. May the joy of knowing we are supported be with us each and every day.”– Shamanic practitioner Elaine Egidio
Pisces ruled by Neptune is the Gatekeeper of dream time and the fog of our addictions- drinking, drugging, food, shopping, spending, rescuing, hoarding, etc.
How one chooses to numb out when their pain gets too intense…wound= pain. Jupiter represents the energy of the teacher, Jupiter asks us each to expand into new territory, take a risk. Aquarius represents an original thinker, someone who thinks outside the box.
Chiron = Blessed Wound
Jupiter = Teacher
Neptune = Addiction- ways you check out.
Aquarius = Stepping outside the box, being weird because you are not the norm.
Can you see the dance here of these energies? At fifty I breathed a sigh of relief that Chiron was through with me. Whew what a ride!
Whoa Nelly….not so fast. Now at each quarter turn-solstice, equinox, solstice I am deepening my understanding of long standing issues and taking the healing to a new level of love and understanding. Has that been happening with you? Are you riding the wave once again…being rubbed raw to become real.
Chiron activates your big “Why”
Where is Chiron for you? What’s his message?
Spring of 1959-I was three years old, the time of my first official food binge. Because of the sexual abuse, there was a near death experience. So much to take in for such a little one who lived next door to a pedophile. I ate so many carrots I turned orange (yes I have clear memory of this, I remember a lot of my childhood). It was also the time I saw my first vision (clear sight).
Nature and my dog kept me safe. I heard when to go inside, when it was safe. One day I came in from playing in the back yard and innocently told my mother I was talking to my friends- the nature spirits and shining ones. Mom’s harsh reaction and response to my declaration, “don’t be silly, there are no such things” sent me into a deep silence of shame.
before everyone else
As a child she heard
and felt things
The Unexplainable and
just plain weird
the good and the bad
she took it on
she took it in
she looked at it
sometimes digested it
She didn’t fit
She threw fits.
She felt weird.
No one could explain
this part life to her.
How do you explain
She hid it well
kept this secret
for a very long time.
Years later, now a young woman
Dad left her house
She felt it in her bones
the pain of never seeing
her Daddy again.
She cried all day.
the boating accident
then the stroke.
He’s never been the same since.
Sitting in the meeting
the urge to leave.
Her child was in trouble
could she be imagining things?
She rushed home to find
Little girl and sitter
locked out of the house
in a thunderstorm
for over an hour.
She unlocked the door
daughter scared for her life
leaped into her arms.
she saw her sister
sick and ill.
she woke up crying
two months later
the truth is revealed
about the tumor.
Finally one day
she visits The Healer
filled with spirit, laughter and joy.
Who became the mentor, teacher and friend
Re-birthed her gift of knowing
breathing in the truth “I believe in me” and
“I forgive myself for not believing-
I know what I know.”
And so began the journey
to be okay,
with the knowing.
That comes and goes
Flows like the Tides
My poem is published in Colleen Deatsman’s book The Hollow Bone: A Field Guide to Shamanism).
It’s the nature of women to know, it’s part of our sacred feminine mystery; the betwixt and between that is not taught. Our mothers, our grandmothers are wounded, and this soul loss is passed down generation upon generation…are you the one to say “enough is enough, I want to know again?” How did your mother travel the psychic waters of Knowing? How do you discount your own knowing?
How the Oracle gets Orphaned: Like many woman I was a psychic sponge; picking up on the energies left me feeling overwhelmed and out of sync; even today my solace is being outside in Nature. The shame I felt from Mom’s reaction and response sent me into hiding.… but the knowing still happened whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not.
Not being raised with ‘good parenting’ skills to understand or manage the intuitive energy of knowing can set up a level of anxiety within that is unexplainable. You can try and root it out in therapy, but it’s spiritual in nature, shame-based and real. Through shamanic healing I came to appreciate how the residual shame of clear seeing, hearing and knowing as a child fueled the IBS. How the Oracle got orphaned became even clearer and dearer to me.
It’s also the fuel for my big “WHY” with women embracing their gifts, helping clear long standing patterns of being invisible, understand how spirit communicates with you. It’s unique to each woman, and certainly takes mentoring and community to allow the gifts to be birthed.
The mother/daughter dance that is so sacred has shifted; I appreciate how my mother just didn’t know what to do with her mystical abused child as a young mother in the ‘50’s.
Even with the shamanic trainings and the healing intensives… I noticed that when I’d arrive for a middle-world shamanic training session my IBS would flare up. After three trainings, and three flare-ups I shared what was happening; during a shamanic healing session the Helping Spirits gave me a new power animal and reconfigured me to the Oracle. I created a SoulCollage® card to honor her presence in my life.
What a difference it’s made in my ability to ground along with settling down long standing food issues… How important the middle world work is- how and why those middle-world teachings are so necessary if one is to step fully into her healership.
Many woman today know the sacred feminine journey has been lost to us as a culture- it’s time to reclaim it, see, feel, know the blessed wound…we need this deep knowing, the ability to clear-see to come up with radical solutions to the world’s problems. This is you stepping into your Aquarian nature. It is right and it is REAL. There may be anger, shame and fear.
The anxiety of knowing as a child, not being seen nor taught how to navigate the psychic waters helped create the IBS and drove me to excess, but things they are a shifting!
The Moon rules the sign Cancer –relating to feminine issues with the 3rd eye, the stomach, the intuitive, feelings and the knowing.
- Maybe it’s time for a Cancer New Moon Collage card to honor the knowing in your own life? Find your Oracle.
- Where’s the Wow in your Mom?
- Find the WOW this month, as you heal, she heals, all your ancestors heal.
Cancer rules all things related to our human mothers and the Sacred Mother. When my mother came home from the hospital her cousin called to wish her well and somewhere in the conversation my mom said “Michele is a healer”. My “there are no such things” mother lovingly acknowledges my knowing…for me this is a BIG wow. I am humbled.
Withdraw and reside in your wisdom: Stop going to psychic after psychic, love yourself enough to find your own knowing. Be the daughter to say “enough is enough, I am embodying my knowing again with an open heart!”
in the dark places
to find truth.
Believe in yourself
and the Knowing.
It’s a gift to you
from the Ancestors,
the nature spirits and
the shining ones.
before everyone else
Michele Bailey-Lessirard is an artist, astrologer, shamanic practitioner and teacher. For over a decade she has written about the moon and the stars, performed hundreds of soul retrievals and taught through out the United States. She invites you to “come explore the magic of the moment and the mystery of you found in bits of paper and glue through the New Moon Collage® process online.”